writing: necessary conversations

[sword_logic]

haikyuu!! manga spoilers (specific to ch. 402) — gen

---

Ushijima doesn't look restrained anymore, like he's trying to figure out how to be a person; he looks like he's grown into the skin that was always too mature for a middle schooler, for a high schooler.

He probably remembers losing to Karasuno. He probably doesn't remember Aoba Johsai losing to Karasuno. Probably doesn't remember what he said between Karasuno's two victories, six or seven or however many years ago. And more. Oikawa's fingers slip against the sweating beer glass.

Maybe I should just sleep with him, Oikawa thinks viciously. Get something ugly out of his system. It would accomplish absolutely nothing, of course, but it's tempting, in its own backwards way: a reason for Ushijima to meet him in the middle, for once. And not at the net.

What he says instead of every canned flirtation he knows is, "You've changed since school."

A faint look of surprise crosses Ushijima's face, and then it narrows into something Oikawa recognizes: the same focused eyes he has on the court, the same calculated vivisection that preceded you chose the wrong—

"You haven't, I think," Ushijima replies. "You're a very contrary person."

"Me?" Oikawa says breezily, "Contrary? Perish the thought."

Contrary. A kind word for spiteful; he's heard that before, but at least Hajime is blunt enough to just tell him he's being a petty little shit. Oikawa opens his mouth to fire back a quip, to snap out something that'll end this awkward conversation; his fingers slide against the glass again, condensation warm already from the heat of his hand.

Ushijima cuts him off before the start, and says, "But it's not a bad thing."

In apparent clarification Ushijima's unfairly straight brows rise, just a millimeter, and his eyes fall pointedly to the blue-and-white pin pressed primly through the wool of Oikawa's blazer. He offers something that might be a smile.

Oikawa waits. He doesn't know where this is going. He takes a sip of beer; still tastes better than anything from abroad somehow, even though he never drank till he left the country.

"You go against the flow," Ushijima finally continues. His words seem more carefully picked now, compared to back then. "Sometimes it's too easy to get caught up in it. You think you’re floating, but the tide rips you under. Next thing you know, some no-name high school knocks you out of the running for Nationals."

"Still bitter?" Oikawa asks, and the nasty smile lurking against his teeth ends up soft.

"No."

"Still bitter," Oikawa hums, satisfied, and the next sip of beer tastes better with Ushijima's slight, conciliatory smile from across the table.