vague thoughts on social media

[sword_logic]

pretty tired as of writing this but DW is a nice journaling space so bear with me here. i've been thinking a lot recently on how i use social media - why am i using this [insert service], what do i want out of [insert service], etc. - and on how that's changed from the past.

the tl;dr is that social media sucks and we live in an absolute hellscape but my dearest friends live very, very far away from me, and i'm glad for this way of connecting with them. 🤷‍♂️ the Tired is growing so i'm just going to list out a bunch of stuff i've been consciously choosing to do recently that's been a good change for me.

• i've stopped sharing posts with information that i trust my friends to know. i don't need to share informational posts to the tune of "don't do X" or "it's hurtful to Y" because... i wouldn't be friends with my friends if they didn't already know those things. in myself, i find it to be a passive-aggressive behavior.
• actually, i've stopped sharing "mental health advice" and "relationship advice"-type posts in general unless it's something that i've found overwhelmingly helpful for myself. (also something i've found to be counterproductive and/or passive-aggressive on my part, otherwise.)
• anyone who does paid/sponsored content gets unfollowed. flat out. this one goes out the window on youtube because youtube is a special kind of hellscape, but i don't watch a lot of youtube content anyways and this applies mostly to instagram (which i use exclusively for lolita fashion).
• not replying immediately when i'm busy or distracted or tired and it's not something time-sensitive. "mark as unread" is a feature for a reason!

the one thing i'm still working on - and i've gotten a lot better about this in just the past year or so - is allowing myself to properly tag something on tumblr so that it's seen. i stopped regularly tagging my art with character/ship/fandom several years ago as, idk, some form of self-sabotage or shame; no one to blame but myself for not tagging if something doesn't get attention. getting back into a relatively quiet/"dead" fandom recently (lol) has not helped, but that's The Process, i guess. still trying to have healthier habits or boundaries or whatever this falls under, but i'll get there.

i've also been thinking about doing Proper Long Form Blogging, which i've actually never done. there's an online lolita comm that intersects strongly with my local comm and i've considered getting in on their blog ring, but i really don't need more Commitments™ right now with how much work has been taking out of me, lol. it's been really nice just to be part of a local comm, though! it's been nearly 2 years since i moved here and it's been really, really good for me. this didn't go into my list of changes since it's specific to IG and the lolita community there, but i've also unfollowed a lot of "popular" accounts who aren't in my local comm. i'm a lot more interested in keeping up with the person i traded cat pics with at the last meet than someone i'm never going to interact with.

okay the tired is winning hard now so i'm going to leave this post here. perhaps i will edit more thoughts in tomorrow. for now i snzzzzzz

very hasty edit to add: i'm currently not... really in any social/fandom discord servers, aside from one for a big bang that was cancelled a few weeks ago, and i still don't know how i feel about social/fandom servers that aren't just my friends and friends of friends. the eternal struggle of really really wanting to make new connections but not wanting to undergo The Ordeal.