fic talk: how did i manage 20k more during This Year

[sword_logic]

christ alive. i started writing this fic... apparently at the start of october, and i've just finished writing it — which is to say, it's ready for editing, and probably heavy editing. but hey! 20k fucking words in about two months. damn.

this fic fought me literally every single fucking inch of the way. it started off as a "humorous" and "short" 5+1 fic, partially because i'd joked about it, and then it snowballed completely past the scope of humorous and short. there are 3338 words are in a doc where i keep my castoffs. three whole thousand. and it's kind of a shame because some of it was really fucking funny, imo, but when this fic took a turn for the more serious, there was just no place for this.

either way, wow, i did not think i'd be here. writing a bleach fic in 2020 of all fucking years. but hey, i had a lot of fun writing this. sprints helped a lot too, they are incredible motivation for me.

i think this is also the longest fic i've written where sex is a major component. i had very complicated feelings about smut in the past and i really struggled with figuring certain things out for myself, but this year i've really just thrown all that out the window and metaphorically started from scratch. who cares! not me. it felt right to make a sizeable chunk of this fic about physical intimacy, so i did. (a far cry from the time i added smut to a longish fic because i felt like i had to. that still feels bad, honestly.)

in any case, i really like the way this fic has come together, and i hope it holds up as i edit it; mostly i'm worried i might have missed some bits from when this fic was still very different, but i trust myself that this won't be a mess. i might write up a post-mortem on this fic later, i've got some meta stuff about bleach itself that i've been chewing on. we'll see.